I'd like to begin this section with what might be a radical idea. It's this: you have no say, in what you want.

You have no say in what you want.

What you want isn't something you invent or concoct. You don't sit down and say, “Hmm, I think today, I'm going to make myself want to exercise, I'm going to make myself want to have sex.”

You don't have any say in what you want because it doesn't come from you, it comes through you, you don't make it. It's the living impulse coming through you.

So, if you want something, there's no need to judge it, shame it, or suppress it.

Your only job is to become aware of it. To know it. And then decide what you want to do with it.

You have no say in what you want.

And I'm saying this, because it's actually one of those invisible taboos. Desire in a woman's life is an invisible taboo. Because it seems like our culture is run by “What do you want? Go make it happen!”

I'm not starting with a straightforward, “I'd like you to write down what you want.” exercise. I'm doing this preface for a specific reason. Your Good Girl Conditioning is very likely to derail you into a place where if I asked you what you want, you're going to start giving me a list of goals and New Year's resolutions that are going to fix you and make you better, and make you feel like you deserve the thing you actually want.

So I'm proposing the radical idea that you have no say in what you want. And that your duty and responsibility is to know it. Not to judge it. Not to suppress it.

And on that note, we're going to write a desire list.

Writing Your Desire List Exercise:

We're going to begin first, by feeling into our bodies and checking into what we want.

What do you want? Because even by taking this mini course, even by going, “I want to break free of some habitual patterns” it's probably because those habitual patterns are in the way of something you want. It's not just because you want to redecorate the interior of your psychic architecture. It's because you want something you're not getting and behavior is getting in the way.

So let's look at that. What's that desire?

Let's take a moment and do the first part of our exercise sequence, which is your desire list.